A NIGHT IN THE DESERT OF THE HOLY MOUNTAIN   o  ·   1     2  ·   3  ·   4     5     6  ·   7  ·   8  ·   9  ·   o   © Metropolitan Hierotheos of Nafpaktos Discussion with the Gerondas on the Jesus Prayer The significance of the Jesus Prayer The Stages of the Jesus prayer Ways of the "Jesus Prayer" The War of the Devil and Coping with it The Advent and Withdrawal of Grace The Fruits of the Jesus Prayer Errors in practising the Jesus Prayer and How we Cope with them The Jesus Prayer is necessary for Clergy and Laymen who live in the World Saying the Jesus Prayer for Others [ BACK ] Discussion with the Gerondas on the Jesus Prayer

– Holy father, I started in a low voice, a desire has taken hold of me very strongly lately. I believe that God has planted it. I want to be purified. I can see the passions unfurling within me. I think my heart is a jungle which feeds many wild beasts the devil is its master and does whatever he wants. I want to be free from this awful state. I would like to give my soul completely to God, I would like him to illumine me. The cunning devil has devastated it long enough. So, I want to be purified but I do not know how. Can you hear me, Gerondas! I want to be purified! Show me the way! I am ready to take it and obey without question whatever you tell me.

... I had started in a low voice but ended up crying out and weeping. My last words may have been heard like thunder in the ears of the hermit. So loud were they! He kept silent for a while. He looked at me with much love; only monks have this sort of love and know how to show it. He gave me the impression that I should not be troubled about this concern, for it was blessed.

– It is obvious, he said, that the Holy Spirit exists and acts within us when we experience such a state. We begin walking the way of the theoria (vision) of God. It is the first stage of theoria. If the perfect theoria (vision) of the uncreated Light is "enraptured light" the soul, repentance and the awareness of our sinfulness is "fire consuming" the soul. Then, repentance and the desire for the purification of the soul from the passions constitutes the time of grace. Only when grace enters within us can we see our desolation how far we are from God and we fight to be united with him. We are not able to have these thoughts and these desires if the grace of God does not visit us.

He was a wise director, an experienced spiritual father indeed a man full of grace. He knows, like the best doctor, how to calm you down, to give you peace, to give you a pacifying medicine not in order to leave you contented with your selfishness but in order to deliver you from it, to cure you.

– Having clarified this point, he went on, I must also show you some methods or rather a very simple method. Do not expect me to burden you with very heavy things. The prayer of Jesus, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me" the unceasing cry to God, our Saviour purifies our soul. All our salvation rests upon the invocation of Jesus and union with him. Let us cry to him to come and He will cure us by his coming. Let us moan like a sick man and He like a doctor will come lovingly to our aid . Let us cry like the one who fell among thieves, and the good Samaritan will come to clean our wounds and guide us to the Inn, that is to the theoria (vision) of the Light which consumes all our being. When God comes into our heart, He gains victory over the devil and cleanses the impurities which the evil one has created. The victory, therefore, over the devil is the victory of Christ in us. Let us do the human part, that is to invite Christ, and He will do the divine part, He will gain victory over the devil and cut him off. So we should not want to do the divine part ourselves and expect God to do the human one. We should understand this well, we do the human part, the prayer of Jesus, and God the divine part, our salvation. The entire work of the Church is the collaboration of divine and human.

–If I have understood correctly, salvation is attained mostly through asceticism, watchfulness* and the Jesus prayer. Allow me however a question. I ask it not because I agree with it but because I hear many objections about the Jesus prayer.

They say that the "Jesus prayer" and the way it is practised is a Christian yoga and is connected with prototypes of Eastern religions. What do you have to say about this?

– It seems that those who say this are completely ignorant of the gracefilled state of our Church, since we obtain divine grace through the Jesus prayer. They have not experienced it, that is why they do not know it. Yet they should never accuse those who have experience. They blaspheme against the Holy Fathers as well. Many of the Fathers fought for the Jesus prayer, and they spoke strongly about its value. What then? Did they fall into error? Did St. Gregory Palamas fall into error? They are even ignorant of the Holy Bible. The blind men said the words: "Son of David have mercy on us", (Matt. 20. 30), which means "Jesus have mercy on us", and their sight was restored; the lepers said it and they were cured from their leprocy (Lk. 4. 27), etc. The prayer "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me", consists of two basic points: The dogmatic one –acknowledgement of the Divinity of Christ– and the suppliant one –supplication for our salvation. In other words the confession of faith in Christ is connected with the confession of our inability to be saved of our own accord. This says everything, and the whole struggle of the Christian is based on these two points: Faith in Christ and awareness of our sinfulness. The "Jesus Prayer", therefore, expresses to the utmost the effort of the faithful in a few words and summarises all the dogmatic teaching of our Orthodox Church.

We acquire this twofold knowledge through the Jesus prayer. St. Maximos points out that the passion of pride consists of two ignorances: the ignorance of the divine power and the ignorance of human weakness. And this double ignorance creates a "confused mind". Proud, therefore, is the man of ignorance, whereas, on the contrary, humble is the man of dual knowledge. The latter knows his own weakness and the power of Christ. So, we acknowledge and confess the power of Christ (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God) as well as our own weakness (have mercy on me) through the Jesus prayer. We acquire in this way the blessed state of humility. Where there is humility there also, is the grace of Christ, and this grace is the Kingdom of Heaven. Can you see then the worth of the Jesus prayer? Can you see that we can obtain the Kingdom of God by its power?

– I know, Gerondas, that a prerequisite of the Orthodox teaching is never to separate Christ from the other persons of the most Holy Trinity. For this reason we often invoke and glorify fully the Holy Trinity in all the prayers which are said aloud by the priest as well as in the meditative endings of the prayers during the Divine Liturgy: "For unto Thee are due all glory, honour and worship, unto the Father and unto the Son, and unto the Holy Spirit now and forever. . . "; "the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God the Father and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all", etc. I wonder whether the "Jesus prayer", which refers only to the second Person of the most Holy Trinity, deviates from this correct teaching.

–Definitely not, and I will explain it to you further. The "prayer" is called the "Jesus prayer" but is founded on a Trinitarian basis. Moreover, Christ, "being one of the Holy Trinity" , never exists without the Father and the Holy Spirit and constitute, together with the other Persons, "a Trinity of one substance and undivided". Christology is tightly connected with Triadology. Let me come back to the matter of the "Jesus prayer". The heavenly Father ordered Joseph through the angel to call Christ, Jesus: ". . .and you shall call his name Jesus..." (Matt. 1. 21) Joseph obeying the Father, called the Son of the Virgin, Jesus. Evenmore so according to the Holy Spirit which illumined the Apostle Paul, "no one can say "Jesus is Lord" except by the Holy Spirit" (1 Cor. 12. 3). By saying, therefore, the prayer "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me", we acknowledge the Father and are obedient to Him. Moreover we feel the energy of and the communion with the Holy Spirit. The Fathers illumined by the Holy Spirit, told us that the "Father through the Son in the Holy Spirit, makes everything". The complete Holy Trinity created the world and made man; and again the entire Holy Trinity recreated man and the world. "The Father was well pleased, the Word became flesh". And He "became flesh" by the Holy Spirit. That is to say, the incarnation of Christ was made "by the good will of the Father and the cooperation of the Holy Spirit". For this reason we say that the salvation of man and the acquisition of divine gifts are common acts of the Holy Trinity. I will mention two characteristic teachings of the Holy Fathers.

Saint Symeon the New Theologian writes that the Son and Word of God is the door of salvation according to His declaration: "I am the door; if anyone enters by me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture". (John 10. 9). If Christ is the door, the Father is the house".In my Father's house are many rooms" (John 14. 2). So we enter into the Father through Christ. And in order to open the door (Christ) we need the key, which is the Holy Spirit. For we know the truth, which is Christ, through the energy of the Holy Spirit. The Father sent His Son to the world, the Son and Word of God reveals the Father, and the Holy Spirit, which proceeds from the Father and is sent through the Son, forms Christ in our hearts! We know, therefore, the Father "through the Son in the Holy Spirit".

St. Maximos speaks often in his works about the mystical incarnations of the Word. He writes that, just as the words of the law and of the Prophets were the forerunners of the presence of the Word in the flesh, in the same way the Son and Word of God, being incarnate, became the forerunner of "his spiritual presence", "by instructing the souls through his own words so that they will be able to accept His divine presence". In other words Christ must be incarnate within us, because we shall not be able to see His glory in Heaven otherwise. The incarnation of Christ within us, however, is done by the good will of the Father and the cooperation of the Holy Spirit. Can you see how the common action of the Holy Trinity is expressed, how we acknowledge and confess the great Mystery that the Lord revealed through His incarnation? He who then denies and does not acknowledge the Jesus prayer makes a big mistake. He denies the Holy Trinity. He does not obey the Father and does not accept the illumination of the Holy Spirit, therefore, he does not have real communion with Christ. So, he must be in doubt as to whether he is a Christian or not.

–I would also, Gerondas, like you to explain to me and expand more on what I was saying earlier, on the differences between the Jesus prayer and yoga, and for you to show me its superiority over the other eastern religions, since you offer great experience.

–The subject is very big, my son, and one could say many things about it. From what I said previously the following stand out:

Firstly: In the Jesus prayer faith in God, Who created the world and Who governs it and loves it, is expressed strongly. He is an affectionate Father who cares about saving His mortal creation. Salvation is attained "in God". For this reason when we pray we implore Him by saying: "Have mercy on me". Self-redemption and self-divinization are far from the athlete of noetic prayer,* because this is the sin of Adam, the sin of the Fall. He wanted to become God outside God's plan for him. Salvation is not attained "through ourselves and does not emanate from ourselves", as the human philosophical systems claim, but is attained "in God".

Secondly: We are not struggling to meet an impersonal God through the "Jesus prayer". We do not seek our elevation to "absolute nothingness". Our prayer focuses on the personal God, the Godman Jesus, for this reason we say "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God". Divine and human nature meet in Christ, in other words in the fullness of the divine Word and all of humanity the perfection of divinity dwells in him in the flesh". (Col. 2. 9) Therefore, anthropology and soteriology (teaching about man and his salvation) in Orthodox monasticism are closely connected with Christology. We love Christ and keep His commandments. We place great importance on this matter. We insist on the keeping of the commandments of Christ. He Himself said: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments". (John 14. 15) By loving Christ and by keeping his commandments we are united with the entire Holy Trinity.

Thirdly: We do not reach a state of pride through unceasing prayer. The philosophical systems you mentioned before are possessed by pride. We acquire the blessed state of humility through the Jesus prayer. We say "Have mercy on me", and we consider ourselves the worst of all. We despise none of our brothers. The athlete of the Jesus prayer is a stranger to every sort of pride. And whoever has pride is foolish.

Fourthly: Salvation, as we said before, is not an abstract notion but union with God, the Holy Trinity in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ. This union, however, does not efface the human factor. We are not assimilated, since we are ourselves also persons.

Fifthly: As prayer develops we acquire the ability to discern error. We can see and distinguish the movements of the devil but at the same time the energies of Christ. We recognise the deceit of the devil who, many times, changes his form even into an angel of light. We distinguish, therefore, good from evil, the uncreated from the created.

Sixthly: The struggle for the "Jesus prayer" is connected with the cleansing of soul and body from the corrupting effect of passions. We do not aim at reaching Stoic apathy but we strive to attain the dynamic state of dispassion,* which means that we do not aim at the mortification of passions but at their transformation. Without dispassion one cannot love God and be saved, but because this love has been corrupted and distorted, we strive for its transformation. We fight to transform the distorted states that the devil created in us. We cannot be saved without this personal struggle which is achieved with the help of the grace of Christ. According to St. Maximos, "Spiritual Knowledge without practical life (purification of heart) is the theology of the demons".

Seventhly: We do not try to guide the nous noetic faculty to absolute nothingness through the "Jesus prayer", but to turn it to the heart and bring the grace of God into the soul, from where it will spread to the body also. "The kingdom of God is within us" (Lk. 17. 21). According to the teaching of our Church, it is our way of thinking, according to the flesh, which is bad and not our body. We must not try to get rid of "the garment of the soul", as the philosophical systems claim, but we must try to save it. Additionally, salvation means redemption of the whole of man (of the soul and the body). We do not aim, therefore, at the destruction of the body, but we fight the worship of it. Neither do we want the destruction of life. We do not aspire to reach a point where we do not desire life so that suffering ceases. We practise the Jesus prayer because we thirst for life and we want to live with God eternally.

Eighthly: We are not indifferent to the world around us. The various systems you mentioned before avoid facing people's problems, so that peace and impassibility can be maintained. We have in mind the opposite: we pray unceasingly for all. We are suppliants for the whole world. Moreover, salvation is union with Christ while we are in communion with other persons. We cannot be saved just by ourselves. A joy which is only ours, without being joy for other people as well, is not true joy.

Ninthly: We do not place great importance on psychosomatic techniques and on the various postures of the body. We consider some of them as assisting the concentration of the nous on the heart, i.e. which in essence do away with all of this. I repeat, we do not strive for impassibility, a negative state, but for the acquisition of divine grace...

– Thank you very much, Gerondas, for these illuminating thoughts. They have great importance because they come from you, who knows them from experience. Allow me a question. Is purification and salvation, that is divinization, attained only through the "Jesus prayer", Lord Jesus Christ have mercy upon me? Are other prayers not appropriate? Do they not help?

–Every prayer has enormous power. It is a cry of the soul. Divine help comes according to one's faith and fervour. There is liturgical prayer, individual prayer etc. The Jesus prayer, however, has boundless value, because, as St. Isaak the Syrian says, it is that small key with whose help we can enter into the mysteries which "no eye has seen, no ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived". That is, the Jesus prayer can keep the nous more in check and make it pray without ceasing; the nous, then, becomes "without colour", "without form", "without shape" and receives much grace in a very short period. The Jesus prayer calls forth a lot of grace, even more than psalmody does, because it is closely connected with humility and the awareness of our sin. This is what the Fathers tell us.

St. Gregory the Sinaite says, indeed, that psalmody is for practical* ones and the beginners, whereas the Jesus prayer is for those who have tasted divine grace for the hesychasts.

– Usually, my son, he went on, confusion comes with psalmody, but also selfishness and pride enters the heart for one's beautiful voice, for the impressions that the others express, whereas there are no external factors for the appearance of pride when the believer says "Lord have mercy on me", in his cell. For this reason the hesychasts practise more this sort of prayer which our Fathers taught us and do matins and vespers with the prayer rope, repeating the Jesus prayer.

– The Jesus prayer is quite limited, very short. How can the nous be fixed on it?

– The nous concentrates more on short phrases. But the Jesus prayer has an immense depth which cannot be seen externally. The nous has the property to increase love and desire for that which it concentrates on. St. Maximos says: "the nous seeks to expand on the things it is fixed on; it, then, turns, its love and desire to those things it expands on, either being divine and noetic or of the flesh and of passions". Moreover, the same thing happens with knowledge. Something that, at first glance, is simple can become a subject of length study and research. How much more the sweetest name of Jesus! You can study it all your life.

–Since the Jesus prayer possesses such power, allow me, Gerondas, to ask you how it is done. How can one enjoy it? I know that I may annoy you by being ignorant and... illiterate in these matters, but you can help me a lot if you tell me this.

– The Jesus prayer is the greatest science, my son. It cannot be described precisely nor can it be defined for fear of it being misunderstood or not being fully understood by those who have not had at least a little experience. It is indeed a great feat. I would even say that it is the highest form through which we acquire Theology* or rather the vision of God. Theology is the offspring and emanation of pure prayer, its wholesome and blessed fruit. The climate in which it develops and can be experienced is the quietude of the sweet desert in all its dynamic content as well as purification from passions.

–I have read, Gerondas, some books and articles referring to this work which is filled with grace, the work of noetic hesychia the unceasing calling on the name of Jesus. But I would like you, since you have shown me its significance, to share with me some thoughts about it out of your personal experience and the knowledge of the Fathers. I do not want to learn simply because of curiosity but because of my zeal to experience, as much as I can, this blessed state. Please do not refuse my wish.

–I referred to something before. Noetic prayer requires mainly renunciation of the world, submission to a Gerondas, a decision by the monk to remain in exile and to keep the commandments of Christ for a long period of time. In the beginning our attention concentrates on the fulfilling of the commandments of Christ and is occupied in practising abstinence and obedience. We know from the teaching of our Holy Fathers that virtues do not unite man with God perfectly, but they create the appropriate climate so that prayer comes which unites man with God–the Holy Trinity. Virtues are a prerequisite for the granting of much grace, yet they also offer grace. When, therefore, the Gerondas, who has the experience of the Jesus prayer, realises that his disciple's will has been cut off, and has been cleansed from the gross passions, only then does he decide to initiate him in the Jesus prayer. Even then, however, he does not tell him everything but only as much as he can endure and carry out. He guides him little by little in case he may be led into disappointment or error.

–What are these stages? Which are the mystical steps which bring us to perfect union with Christ and to the enjoyment of deifying grace?

–The basic purpose of the Jesus prayer is to unify the whole of man "who has become fragmented".

–Please, forgive me for the interruption. What does unification of the whole of man mean?

–Man, according to Scripture, has been created "after the image of God". (Col. 3. 10) God is Trinity, that is, one essence in three hypostases (Father, Son and Holy Spirit). Thus the soul, being created in the image of God, is single as well as manifold. She has three powers: the appetitive power, the intelligent power and the irascible power. All three must be united and be directed to God. According to St. Maximos their development according to nature is for the intelligent power to have the knowledge of God, for the appetitive power to desire and love only God and for the irascible power to carry out the will of the Lord. In this way the commandment is fulfilled: "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength". (Mk. 12. 30) When the nous remains in God, it raises the appetitive power to love Him and the irascible power to fight against the evil spirit and seek for purification. So, union exists because an impetus towards God exists. Well then! Sin tears up the union of the three powers of the soul. The nous comes to ignore God, the appetitive power loves the creatures and not the Creator and the irascible power is submitted to the tyranny of the passions. Thus, we have the complete enslavement of the soul. St. Gregory Palamas describes this state very well.

Firstly, the nous moves away from God and turns to other creations: "whenever we open a door to the passions, the nous is immediately scattered, wandering all the time over carnal and worldly things, over the manifold pleasures and the impassioned thoughts which go with them".

Secondly, the nous, fallen away from God, leads desire astray from God and His commandments: "when the nous rebels, desire is also scattered in fornication and foolishness".

Thirdly, the will is submitted to the passions and is tormented and becomes enraged: "man, who has been destined to be a child of God, becomes a murderer, becoming comparable not only to the wild beasts, but also to the reptiles and venomous animals, he becomes a scorpion, a snake, an offspring of vipers".

Therefore, the three powers of the soul depart from God but at the same time, they lose their unity with each other. The appetitive power wants to return to God but the irascible power does not allow it; desire wants the return but the nous, not believing in God, does not want to love God. We strive for this unity and attain it finally through the Jesus prayer. The return to God starts with the concentration of the nous. Our aim is to detach the nous from its attraction to surrounding objects and bring it back to itself so that the desire is brought back.

– I think you have presented it to me very vividly, and thus I have understood it.

–It is the Fathers that present these, not me, my son.

–After my interruption and your explanation, can you please tell me the stages of the prayer more analytically? Where does one start from and how does one progress?

–There are primarily five stages. Firstly: The reciting of the Jesus prayer vocally. We repeat the Jesus prayer with our lips while trying at the same time to focus our attention on the words of the prayer. Secondly: The nous takes the Jesus prayer and says it noetically. Our whole attention is centred again in the words, but is concentrated on the nous. When the nous gets tired then we start again to vocalize the prayer with the lips. This method, of course, or the use of the prayer rope is still the elementary level school of the Jesus prayer. A beginner should start however, from this stage, and when he reaches the more perfect, the imperfect one will then fade away. After the nous has rested, we start again to concentrate our attention there. St. Neilos advises: "Always remember God and your nous will become heaven". Thirdly: The Jesus prayer then descends into the heart.* Nous and heart are united. The attention now is centred in the heart and is immersed again into the words of the Jesus prayer, and primarily into the name of Jesus which has an imperceptible depth. Fourthly: The prayer now becomes automatic. It is done while the ascetic is working, eating, discussing or while he is in church or even while he is sleeping. "I sleep but by heart waketh" is said in the Holy Scripture. (Song of Songs 5. 2) Fifthly: Then one feels a divine soft flame burning within his soul and making it joyful. The grace of Christ lives in the heart. The Holy Trinity is established. "We become the dwelling place of God, when He lives within us, established in the memory. Thus, we become the temple of God when remembrance of Him is not disturbed by earthly cares, and the mind is not distracted by unexpected thoughts. Fleeing the latter, the friend of God withdraws into Him, chasing away the passions which invite intemperate thoughts, and occupying himself in a way which leads to virtue". (St. Basil the Great) Thus, he feels the divine presence within himself, and this grace passes through to his body which becomes dead to the world and is crucified. And this is the most extreme stage which is sometimes connected with the vision of the uncreated Light.* This is, virtually, the course of the development of the Jesus prayer. Each stage has a corresponding grace.

–Gerondas, allow me a few questions which arose while you were talking about the stages of the Jesus prayer. What do you mean by the word heart?

– According to the teaching of the Holy Fathers, the heart is the centre of the spiritual world. Among the many opinions of the Fathers on this subject I will mention a distinctive one of St. Epiphanios, Bishop of Konstantia of Cyprus: "For this reason, we need not in any way define or ascertain in what part of man the image of God rather is accomplished, but we need to confess that the image of God does exist in man, so that we will not despise the grace of God and disbelieve in Him. For whatever God says is true, although His word has to a certain extent, escaped our capacity to conceive it". Just as a beam when it falls upon a prism is refracted and shown from all sides, in the same way does the soul also express herself through the whole human being. When we say the Jesus prayer, however, we fix our attention on the physical organ, on the heart, so that we are distracted away from the outside world and bring it back again into ourselves, into the "deep heart". In this way the nous – the eye of the soul– returns to its home and is united there with the other powers.

– Allow me a second question. Do all who are enchanted by the enjoyment of God follow the course you have just described to me?

–Yes, most of them do. There are some however who, from the very beginning, seek to unite the nous with the heart by doing breathing exercises. They breathe in the words "Lord Jesus Christ" and exhale the words "have mercy on me". They follow the air as it comes into the nose all the way to the heart, and there they rest a little.

This, of course, is done to allow the nous to be fixed on the prayer. The Holy Fathers have also handed over to us another method. We breathe in saying all the words of the Jesus prayer and we breathe out saying them again. This method, however, requires maturity in spiritual development. But using this way of breathing can cause many difficulties, many problems; that is why it should be avoided, if there is no guidance from a spiritual father. It can be used, however, simply to fix the nous on the words of the prayer so that the nous is not distracted. I repeat, this needs a special blessing (permission) of a discerning father.

–You said before, Gerondas, that the aim of the Jesus prayer is to bring the nous back into the heart, that is the energy into the essence. We can experience this specifically at the third stage of this holy pathway. When, however, you recounted the fifth stage, you referred to a quotation of St. Basil the Great: "he who loves God having avoided all these, departs towards God". How does the nous come into the heart and depart towards God? Is this perhaps a contradiction?

– No it is not, the holy hermit answered. As the Holy and God–bearing Fathers teach, those who pray are at various stages. There are beginners as well as the advanced; as they are better called in the teachings of the Fathers, the practical and the theoretical ones. For the practical ones, prayer is born of fear of God and a firm hope in Him, whereas to the theoretical ones, prayer is begotten by a divinely intense longing for God and by total purification. The characteristic of the first state – that of the practical ones– is the concentration of the nous within the heart; when the nous prays to God without distraction. The characteristic of the second state of prayer –that of the theoretical ones– is the rapture of the nous by the divine Light, so that it is aware neither of the world nor of itself. This is the ravishment (ecstasy*) of the nous, and we say that, at this stage the nous "departs" to God. The God–bearing Fathers who experienced these blessed states describe the divine ravishment; "it is the rapture of the nous by the divine and infinite light, so that it is aware neither of itself nor of any other created thing, but only of Him Who through love, has activated such radiance in the nous". (St. Maximos)

– Allow me another question. I wasn’t able to understand the quotation you mentioned before: "I sleep, but my heart waketh". (Song of Songs 5. 2) Please do love for me.* Explain it to me. How is it possible that the heart continues to pray while man is sleeping?

–This passage is written in the book of the Old Testament which is called "Song of Songs". It is not difficult to explain. Prophet David says that man's heart is deep. All the events, all the impressions of the day and the occupations of the mind go into the depths of the heart, into what we call nowadays the subconscious. So, whatever man is occupied with during the day, the heart will be occupied with these same things at night, when the mind and the human energies rest. And this can be seen clearly in our dreams.

St. Basil says that "to a great extent, the phantasies of night (dreams) are an echo (reflection) of our daily thoughts". Evil occupations and thoughts of the day create evil dreams. The same also happens with good deeds. The ascetic or the man of God in general, thinks of God all day long through the Jesus prayer. The remembrance* of God by the repetition of the Jesus prayer, is his delight. He does everything, whether he eats or he drinks, for the glory of God according to the word of the Apostle. It is natural, therefore, that his heart thinks of God and prays even during the few hours of nightly rest. His heart is ever awake.

– I will mention to you some of the fruits of the Jesus prayer, since I can see you are very eager to learn. In the beginning the Jesus prayer is the bread which sustains the athlete, then it becomes oil which sweetens the heart and, in the end, it becomes wine which intoxicates man, that is, which creates ecstasy and union with God. To be more specific. The first gift which Christ gives to the man of prayer is the awareness of his sinfulness. He stops believing that he is "good" and considers himself "the desolating sacrilege... standing in the holy place" (Matt. 24. 15). Like the saw of a surgeon cutting through bone, the sharp word of the Spirit penetrates to the depths of the soul. There is so much impurity within us! Our soul reeks. Sometimes people come in my cell and they give a bad odor... from their inner filth. Well then, whatever was unknown before to the athlete, is now revealed to him through the Jesus prayer. As a result he considers himself below all people and thinks that Hell is his only eternal habitation and starts crying. He cries for his dead self. Is it possible for one to cry for the dead of his neighbour and not for the dead who is in his own house? In this way the athlete of the Jesus prayer, too, does not see the sins of others, but only his own death. His eyes become fountains of tears which flow from the affliction of his heart. He weeps like a condemned person, and at the same time he cries, "have mercy on me". "Have mercy on me". "Have mercy on me". With these tears, as we said above, the purification of soul and nous begins. As water cleanses dirty things, as the falling rain clears the sky of clouds and the earth from filth, likewise tears cleanse and whiten the soul. The tears are the water of the second baptism. Thus the Jesus prayer brings the sweetest fruit of purification.

– Is man completely purified when divine grace visits him?

– He is not purified completely, but is always seeking purity of heart for purification is a never ending effort. St. John Climacos reports this saying which he had heard from a monk, who had achieved dispassion. "The perfect but still unfinished perfection of the perfect". The more one weeps the more one is purified; the more one sees the deeper layers of sin the more he feels the need to weep again. St. Symeon the New Theologian elucidates this point well:

As you understand, my father, man is being continuously perfected and cleansed. The passive aspect of the soul is first cleansed and then the intelligent power of the soul. The faithful are initially delivered from the passions of the flesh; then –through harder prayer and more intensive struggle, from the passions of hatred, anger and rancour. When man manages to be freed from anger and rancour, it is obvious that the passive aspect of his soul has almost been purified. Then the entire warfare is carried out in the intelligent aspect, and the athlete wars against pride, vainglory and against all vain thoughts. This warfare will follow him to the end of his life. But all this course of purification takes place with the help and energy of grace, so that the faithful becomes a vessel receptive of rich divine grace. Again St. Symeon writes:

–And how does one understand that his soul is beginning to be purified?

–This is easy, the wise hermit answered. It becomes perceptible very soon. Hesychios the Elder uses a nice image. As the poisonous food which enters the stomach and causes disturbance and pain, comes out when we take medicine, and the stomach is relieved afterwards and feels the relief, the same happens with spiritual life. When man accepts evil thoughts and subsequently, experiences their bitterness and their heaviness, he "vomits easily and casts the evil thoughts out completely" through the Jesus prayer, attaining the sense therefore that purification is taking place. Moreover, the man of prayer becomes aware of purification, because the internal wounds that the passions cause cease bleeding. In the Gospel of the Evangelist Luke we read about the woman who had a flow of blood that: "she... came up behind him, and touched the fringe of his garment; and immediately her flow of blood ceased" (Lk. 8. 44). When one approaches Jesus Christ, he is immediately healed –"the flow of blood ceases": the blood of passions ceases to flow. I wish to say that images, circumstances, persons who used to scandalize us cease to now. In other words, when various persons or things disturb us, it is obvious that we are wounded by the attacks of the devil. It is within us that the scandal lies. Being purified through the help of the Jesus prayer, he sees all people and all things as creatures of God. He considers, especially human persons, as images of a God Who is full of love. Whoever, therefore, is dressed with the grace of Christ also sees the others dressed with such grace, even if they are naked. Whereas he who is destitude of divine grace, sees even those who are dressed as if they were naked! I would like at this point to read from the homilies of St. Symeon the New Theologian again.

–He is a Theologian, indeed. I read a few of his works and I was touched by them!

– I exhort you to read all his works because you will be able, in this way, to acquire a taste of mystical theology, of the apophatic way of ascetic experience. Well, the God–seeing father says:

–As you can see, he went on, the dispassionate man, the one purified through the Jesus prayer, does not fall into temptation, whatever he might see. At the same time the devil is defeated; this is a fruit of the Jesus prayer. The athlete of the Jesus prayer recognises the enemy and his traps and easily casts him out of his soul. He also realises the devil's preparation for war and takes action just in time. He sees the arrows of the devil aimed at his soul, and before they even touch it, they are destroyed. St. Diadochos says that when the arrows reach the surface part of the heart, they are destroyed there, because the grace of Christ is within. Furthermore, as we were saying before, the integration of the complete person is achieved. Mind, desire and will are united and combined in God.

– Purification and dispassion are great gifts!!! I exclaimed.

–Yes, indeed, dispassion is a gift of grace. Dispassion presupposes purification and love and even more it covers love. St. Symeon can help us even at this point. He uses an effective image. On a cloudless night we see the moon in the sky filled with the most pure light and many times a shining circle around it. This is how St. Symeon adjusts this image to the purified and dispassioned man. The bodies of the Saints are the sky. Their God–bearing heart is like the moon. Holy love is the "almighty and all–accomplishing light", which fills the heart each day, according to its degree of purification, and then a time comes when the heart is full of this bright light and becomes like a full–moon. But this light does not diminish, as the moon’s light does, because it is preserved with good works. "It remains always bright through the zeal and the good works of the Saints". Dispassion is the circle which surrounds the all–shining heart, covers it, and maintains it invulnerable from the furious assaults of the devil. "It shields it from every side and guards it and maintains it invincible from every evil thought and establishes it unharmed and free from all enemies; not only this but also it makes it unapproachable by the adversaries".

Although dispassion is absolutely necessary, it is not the final gift of the Jesus prayer and the acquisition of everything. From then on the ascent to God starts. The Holy Fathers describe this spiritual ascent to divinization in three words: Purification, illumination, perfection. I'll mention to you two examples from the Holy Scripture to make it more comprehensible: the ascent of Moses on Mount Sinai to obtain the "Law" and the march of the people of Israel to the promised land. The first is described by St. Gregory of Nyssa and the second by St. Maximos.

–The Fathers always inspire me. They interpret the word of God correctly, that is why I like to hear the interpretations of the Fathers.

–The Hebrews washed their garments first and cleansed themselves according to the commandment of God: "Go to the people and consecrate them today and tomorrow, and let them wash their garments and be ready by the third day". Then on the third day, all the people heard voices and "a very loud trumpet blast" and saw thunder, lightning, and a thick cloud upon the mountain. "And Mount Sinai was wrapped in smoke". The people walked to the foot of the mountain; only Moses went into the shining cloud and reached the top of the mountain, where he received the tablets of the Law (Ex. 19. 10–18). St. Gregory of Nyssa understands that the way to divine knowledge is purity of body and soul. He who is going to ascend must be, as far as it is possible, pure and spotless, both in body and soul. He must also, according to the divine commandment, wash his garments –not so much the material ones, because they do not become an obstacle for those who want to be deified– but rather the deeds of this life which enwrap us like a garment. He must also distance himself from the "irrational beasts", e.g. he must overcome every knowledge which is obtained through the senses. He must be cleansed from every aesthetic and irrational action he must purify his mind and be separated even from his own familiar companion –his sense– and being prepared in this way, let him dare to approach the mountain with the thick cloud upon it. Yet, since the mountain is inaccessible to the people, let only Moses –that is he who has been called by God ascend– proceed. Therefore, father, as it is seen here, purification precedes and the ascent to divine vision follows. The greater gifts, then, are obtained after purification, which is a prerequisite for their acquisition.

Let me remind you, the God–seeing ascetic continued, of the second example. St. Maximos the Confessor writes that there are three stages for the mystical ascent to God: practical philosophy which is both negative (purification from passions) and positive (acquisition of virtues); the natural theoria–vision when the purified nous contemplates all creation (that is the inner essences of created beings) comprehends the spiritual meaning of the Scriptures, and sees God in nature and prays to Him. Then the third and last stage follows: the mystical theology, which unites God with the militant, the faithful one. These three stages can be seen clearly in the route of the people of Israel. They were first liberated from the slavery of Egypt, and crossed the Red Sea where Egyptian power was defeated. Then they came to the wilderness, where they received the gifts of divine love manifested in various ways (the manna, the water, the bright cloud, the Law, the victory against enemies), and they entered the promised land after many years of struggle. In the same way, the athlete of the "Jesus prayer" is first delivered from the slavery of passions (practical philosophy), he enters then the desert of dispassion (natural theoria–vision), where he receives the gifts of the love of God. And finally, he becomes worthy of the promised land (mystical theology) after a heroic struggle; he becomes worthy of perfect union with God and the enjoyment of eternity, which is experienced in the vision of the uncreated Light. These three stages, however, are not clearcut, according to the God–bearing Fathers. When we reach natural theoria–vision and mystical theology, it does not mean that we give up ascesis and compunction of the heart, i.e. practical philosophy. Rather the more a person progresses spiritually, the more he struggles so that he will not lose the mercy that he received. The Fathers advise us that when we become worthy of divine and lofty visions, we should then be more diligent in our expression of love and continence, "so that by keeping undisturbed the passive aspect of the soul, you will experience the unfailing light of the soul". It is necessary that man should always proceed on his spiritual path in fear. In the beginning, he should have the fear of Hell, of punishment (preliminary fear) and then the fear, lest he loses grace and falls from it (perfect fear). "Work out your own salvation in fear and trembling", the Apostle Paul says (Phil. 2. 12).

– Tell me now, Gerondas, what are the gifts that the athlete of the "Jesus prayer" receives after purification and before he enjoys perfect union with God? Go on describing to me the other fruits of the Jesus prayer.

–The monk who does violence to himself feels divine consolation. He feels the presence of Christ, which spreads "sweet calmness", unperturbed peace, profound humility, and insatiable love for all. The consolation of divine presence cannot be compared with anything human. I met an ascetic who became seriously ill and went to the hospital for treatment. The best of doctors were by his side as they respected him and wanted to comfort him. He recovered, of course, thanked the doctors and returned to his little cell. After a brief period of time, however, he experienced a relapse which the brothers did not realise, because he was isolated. He suffered much, yet he was feeling such comfort from God, which could not be compared with the sincere and loving care of the doctors or with the efficacious action of the medications. The rest he felt was without precedent. That is why some hermits (this is incomprehensible to those of the world) avoid diligently human consolation in order to feel the intoxicating sweetness and the insatiable joy of divine consolation...

–That is a wonderful fruit of noetic prayer, I said. Go on, father.

–Man acquires grace in the sufferings that his fellow–men cause him. He flies to the azure and glorious sky of spiritual life, where the arrows of men of the world cannot reach him. Not only is he not afflicted, but neither does he not notice them. As an aeroplane cannot be brought down nor hit when stones are thrown at it the same happens with such a man. There is no grief because of slander, persecution, contempt, accusation etc., but there is only grief for the fall of a brother. But even if he grieves for something, he knows the way to cast it out. Such an example is told in the "Sayings of the Desert Fathers": "An old man who came to see Abba Achiles found him spitting blood out of his mouth. He asked him, "What is the matter, Father?" The old man answered, "The word of a brother grieved me, I struggled not to tell him so and I prayed God to rid me of this word. So it became like blood in my mouth and I have spat it out. Now I am in peace, having forgotten the matter"9.

–This means, indeed, perfect love for the brother, which forgives everything. He does not even want to recall them. We are already reaching perfection!

–Certainly. And this is achieved through the Jesus prayer. This love is the result of the experience of the unity of all mankind. And this is a wonderful fruit of the Jesus prayer. Not only man himself is integrated, but also the unity of mankind is felt.

You know, father, the hermit continued, that the unity of human nature was divided immediately after the Fall of Adam. After the creation of Adam, God created Eve from his side. Eve's creation gave joy to Adam and he felt her as his own (from his body) and so he said: "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh... " (Gen. 2. 23). After his fall –when God asked him– Adam said: "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree and I ate" (Gen. 3 . 12). Before the Fall, Eve was "bone" from his bones after the Fall she became "the woman" that God gave him! It is obvious here the division of human nature after sin, as it can be seen later in the children of Adam, in all the history of Israel and in all the history of humanity. This is natural. Since man was estranged from God, he was also estranged from himself and separated from other people. This constituted complete alienation and enslavement. The reunion of human nature was attained "in Christ". He "stretched out his palms and united what was before divided" and so he gave the power to each one of us, after being united with him, to experience the unity of human nature.

The ascetic, then, aquires great love for Jesus Christ through the Jesus prayer, and he is joined with Him through this love. It is natural, therefore, for him to love whatever God loves and desire whatever He desires. God "desires all men to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth" (1 Tit. 2. 4). This is what the athlete of prayer wants. He is shaken by the evil that exists in the world and grieves deeply for the loss and the ignorance of his brothers. Since sin always has ecclesiastical and cosmic dimensions and affects the entire world, it is natural that he who prays experiences all the tragedy of humanity and suffers deeply for her. He lives the agony of the Lord in Gethsemane. He reaches a point, therefore, where he ceases praying for himself and prays continually for others, to come to the knowledge of God. His purification from passions, his acquisition of the life–giving divine grace, and prayer for others –which is the result of his experiencing the unity of mankind in Jesus Christ– is the greatest mission. This is how the Fathers saw the missionary effort: as a striving for the renewal of the human being and a reintegration of nature. Each person who is purified becomes a valuable part of society, as we are all members of the blessed body of Christ. We can see this vividly in the person of the Most Holy Mother of God. She was "full of grace", and then bestowed grace and adorned all of human nature. Purified and "full of grace", she prays for the whole world. And thus we can say that the Most Holy Mother of God performs the greatest mission of all and benefits all of mankind effectively.

He kept silent for a while and then went on.

–Still the ascetic feels the unity of all nature.

– What do you mean?

–He is acknowledged by all nature. Before the Fall, Adam was the King of all creation, and all the animals acknowledged him as a King. After the Fall, however, this link was broken and this acknowledgement abolished. Nikolaos Kavasilas analyses this condition vividly. Man, he says, is created in the image of God. In Adam the image of God was the clear mirror through which the Light of God reflects on nature. As long as the mirror remained unbroken, all nature was lit up. However, as soon as it was broken and smashed, deep darkness fell on all creation. All nature, then, rebelled against man and now does not acknowledge him, neither does it want to give him its fruits. Thus, man is sustained with anguish and labour. The animals are also afraid of him and are quite aggressive. Yet, when man receives the grace of Christ, all the powers of the soul integrate. He is in the image and likeness of God. He becomes a mirror, a light which shines forth the divine grace even to irrational nature. Now the animals acknowledge him, obey him and respect him. There are many cases recorded where the ascetic–hermit lives in the company of bears and wild animals. He feeds them, and they in turn serve him, thus acquiring divine grace through the Jesus prayer, he becomes, again, King of nature, and evenmore, he ascends to a more elevated state than Adam's. Ac cording to the Fathers, Adam was in the image of God but he had to reach to the likeness of God through obedience. He was in the stage of the illumination of the nous and he had to attain to theosis. Whereas the ascetic attains to "the likeness of God" (divinization), as far as it is possible, through divine grace, without entering, however, into the Divine Essence. He partakes of the uncreated energies of God. I shall give you an example of this acknowledgement on the part of nature from this very present interview. When my ever memorable Gerondas was saying the Jesus prayer, wild birds would come to the windows of his cell pecking the panes. One would think that this was the activity of the devil to hinder him from prayer. But, in fact, the wild birds were attracted by the prayer of the Gerondas!!!

–Gerondas, you have led me through the stages of perfection; to the end of spiritual life. Man is capable of becoming a King...

He smiled faintly.

–There are even higher stages. After a great struggle, as I mentioned before, it is possible for the athlete to submit to ecstasy, the divine rapture, and enter the new Jerusalem, the new promised land. The nous is seized in rapture, and contemplates the uncreated Light. At vespers of the divine Transfiguration we sing: "When the chosen apostles beheld upon the mountain the overwhelming flood of Thy light, "Christ who has no beginning, and Thy divinity which no man may approach, they were caught up into a divine trance". Ecstasy and theoria (vision) of God are connected. When we say ecstasy, we do not mean something static, but we refer to divine presence and spiritual movement. It is not inactivity and death but life in God. The Fathers say that when man is enraptured in the divine Light, during the Jesus prayer, he ceases praying with the lips. The mouth and tongue remain silent, the heart is silent, too. The athlete, then, delights in the theoria (vision) of Taborian Light. He receives the uncreated energy of God. It is the same Light of Mount Tabor, which the disciples saw; it is the Kingdom of God –eternity. According to St. Gregory Palamas, the Light is "the beauty of the age to come", "the substance of future good", "the most perfect vision of God", "the heavenly food". Those who become worthy of seeing the uncreated Light are the Prophets of the New Testament. For, as the Prophets of the Old Testament would surpass time and could see the incarnation of Christ, the first advent, in the same way those who contemplate the Light surpass time and see the glory of Christ in the Kingdom of Heaven.

He was silent for a while, took a deep breath and went on.

–The divine Light possesses all of his being. Even his hut shines from the presence of Christ and he enjoys this "sober drunkenness". He beholds the invisible God. "God is Light and his vision is Light", says St. Symeon the New Theologian. The monk sees divine Light at that moment, and this is "a pleasing and sacred vision", according to "the defendor of theologians", St. Gregory Palamas. Makarios the Chrysokephalos also describes this vision: "What is more beautiful than being in intimate communion with Christ? What is dearer than his divine glory? Nothing is sweeter than this light, through which every illuminating order of angels as well as of men is made lucid; nothing is more loving than this life, wherein we all live and move and have our being; nothing is sweeter than ever–incarnate beauty; nothing is more delightful than the everlasting joy; nothing is dearer than eternal gladness, dignified majesty and boundless Bliss". In other words, delight and joy are boundless. These states are indeed too great for words. This is how St. Symeon the New Theologian describes it.

He took one of his books in his hands and started reading.

The Gerondas read the passage with great longing. His voice was moving. His eyes sparkled. His face was shining with an inexplicable joy. His trembling voice –his spiritual delight brought tears to my eyes.

–Thus even his face shines, he went on, from the divine presence. He enters, like Moses, into the divine darkness of unknowing, into the "radiant darkness", and acquires "enduring knowledge" and "ineffable theology".

He stopped again for a while. I was waiting almost ecstatic, literally gasping.

– Even the body feels the sweetness of this Light and during these moments it undergoes "change".

–What does this mean?

– "That the body participates in the grace which acts 113 on the nous, is orientated to it and receives awareness of the ineffable mystery of the soul" (St. Gregory Palamas). Then the body "becomes strangely buoyant and glowing", that is, it feels an unusual warmth which is the result of the vision of Light. It is like the candle which when it is lit up, its main body (the wax) is at once warm and luminous.

–Please, allow me a question. It may be blasphemous but I will ask it anyway. Is this "change" of the body a reality or imaginary? Is it an imagined warmth?

–No, my father it is not. This "change" is real. The body participates in all the states of the soul. The body itself is not bad, but rather the mind of the flesh, that is, when the body is enslaved to the devil. Besides, the vision of the Light is a vision of the physical eyes which have been altered and strengthened by the Holy Spirit and have become capable of seeing the uncreated Light. There are many examples in the Holy Scripture which indicate that the grace of God, through the soul, penetrates to the body as well, which feels the action of the life–giving divine grace.

–Could you refer to some of these?

–There are many verses in the psalms of David, which show this: "My heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God" (Ps. 84). "In Him my heart trusts; so I am helped and my heart exults" (Ps. 27). Also in the 119th Psalm: "How sweet are thy words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth"! We have the story of Moses, too. When he came down from Mt. Sinai with the ten commandments, his face shone. "When Moses came down from Mount Sinai, with the two tablets of the testimony in his hand, he did not know that the skin on his face shone because he had been talking with God. And when Aaron and all the people of Israel saw Moses, behold, the skin of his face shone, and they were afraid to come near him" (Ex. 34. 29–30). This is also seen in the case of archdeacon Stephen: "And gazing at him, all who sat in the council saw that his face was like the face of an angel" (Acts 6. 15). St. Gregory Palamas believes that the sweat of our Lord Jesus Christ, while praying in the garden of Gethsemane, shows "the fervour felt in His body because of the intensive prayer to God".

–Forgive me, father, because I've tired you with my blasphemous and worldly question. We, people of the world, cannot understand... Allow me, however, one more question. Are there monks nowadays, who see the uncreated Light and undergo "change" when they pray?

He smiled and said:

–If the Holy Spirit should cease acting in the Church, then "the beholders of the uncreated Light", will cease to exist. The Holy Mountain hides great treasures and those who fight against it in any way, are accusers and enemies of God. In the time of St. Athanasios the Great some disputed the Deity of Christ. In the time of St. Gregory Palamas they disputed the deity of the uncreated energies. Nowadays, we fall into almost the same sin. We dispute the existence of deified people, who see the divine Light. Today, there are sanctified monks –Gods by grace. The continuation of life on earth is due to these deified ascetics. They brighten our world, which is darkened by sin.

–Allow me another, perhaps indiscreet question. Have you seen the Light, Gerondas?

................

Let the reader of this book allow me not to describe that moving scene and what was said. I want to guard it in a mantle of silence. I hope I will be excused.

After a long pause, enveloped in silence, I was impetuous enough to disturb once more the silence of the ascetic. Yet, I had to. The hours were few and I had to learn more. I wanted to profit as much as possible from my visit with the God–seeing Father.

–Father, I apologize again. You've said that, even nowadays, there are monks on Mt. Athos, who behold the uncreated Light. I believe that one monk may see it many times. Does it always have the same brightness?

– We can say that there is spiritual light and the light that man sees with his physical eyes, after they have been transformed and strengthened to see it. Spiritual light is the commandments, and he who keeps them receives it. "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path". The commandments of Christ are "words of eternal life" and not moralistic external precepts. Virtues, as well, which are conceived in our effort to carry out the commandments of Christ, are torches. Faith is light as well as hope and love. God is the true light and "the light of the world" (John. 8. 12). But the name of God is love. "God is love" (1 John. 4. 7). That is why we say that love is the brightest light of all other virtues. Repentance, too, is light, which shines in the soul of man and guides him to the pool of the second baptism, where the eyes are cleansed from spiritual cataracts. All Christians who fight the good fight enjoy this light, especially those who pursue purification from the passions and they enjoy it, of course, according to the degree of their struggle. St. Gregory the Theologian says that "where there is purification, there exists illumination; because without the first the second is not accorded". In other words, we interpret what St. Symeon the New Theologian is saying that if man does not see the Light in this life, he will not see it in the next life either.

Sometimes, however, he went on, because of their great purity and struggle, and even because of the special good–will of God, some people become worthy of seeing the Light with their physical eyes which have been transformed by divine grace like the three disciples on Mount Tabor. Even here a gradation can be observed. When they see it for the first time, they behold it as a "great Light", which makes everything inside them joyful. Yet, in fact, it is a dim light. They behold it, as I said, as a "great Light" in comparison to the darkness they had been used to. They now experience something which they had not experienced before. In the second appearance however, the light is stronger, but man has already adjusted to the vision... Yet, the more he approaches the Divine Essence, the more he realises the impossibility of beholding the divine nature, and this is what the Fathers call "radiant darkness".

–There are many things I have not understood.

– I will help you to understand by examining the case of the God–seeing Moses, as St. Gregory of Nyssa presents it. Moses saw the Light, for the first time, on Mt. Choreb in the form of a burning bush, when God called him to guide the people to the promised land. The second time, he is called by God to enter into divine darkness and meet Him there. First it was the Light and then the divine darkness. And St. Gregory explains that man at first sees Light because he used to living in the darkness. As the time passes, however, the more he approaches the Divine Essence the more he "beholds invisibly" the divine darkness, "the impossibility of beholding the divine essence".

I shall read to you the entire passage: "What does it mean that Moses entered the darkness and then saw God in it? What is now recounted seems somehow to be contradictory to the first Theophany; for then the Divine was beheld in light but now He is seen in darkness. Let us not think that this is at variance with the sequence of things we have contemplated, spiritually. Scriptures teaches by this, that religious knowledge comes at first to those who receive it as light. Therefore what is perceived to be contrary to religion is darkness, and the escape from darkness comes about when one participates in light. But as the mind progresses, and through ever greater and more perfect perseverance comes to apprehend reality as it approaches more nearly to contemplation, it sees more clearly what part of divine nature is yet to be contemplated. For leaving behind everything that is observed, not only the part that sense comprehends but also what the intelligence thinks it sees, it keeps on penetrating deeper until, by the intelligence's yearning for understanding it gains access to the invisible and incomprehensible where it sees God. This is the true knowledge of what it sought; this is the seeing that consists of not seeing, because that which is sought transcends all knowledge, being separated on all sides by incomprehensibility, as by a kind of darkness"10.

This is what usually happens. Man proceeds from the vision of dim (small) Light to the vision of brighter (greater) Light until he reaches the "radiant darkness", as St. Gregory describes. But we need to know the teaching of the Fathers about the beholding of the "radiant divine darkness" in order to understand, in the Orthodox way, what was mentioned before. According to the Fathers, God appears always as Light and never as darkness. But when the nous of the God–seeing ascetic, while in "vision", wants to enter into the Divine Essence as well he meets the unpenetrable –the radiant divine darkness. Divine darkness, therefore, is not the appearance of God as darkness, but the weakness of man to see the Essence of God, which is "the unapproachable Light". The divine darkness, therefore, is Light, but Light invisible and unapproachable for man. God is Light. "I am the Light of the world" (John. 8. 12), He said, and not the darkness of the world. According to St. Dionysios the Areopagite, "the divine darkness is the unapproachable light wherein God dwells, which is invisible because of its supreme splendour and unapproachable because of the excessive shedding of the supra–essential light, and within which everybody who is deemed worthy of knowing and seeing God, is found, without seeing or knowing it at the same time". In this sense, therefore, we say that divine darkness is beyond light.

Many times, however, the Fathers talk about entering into the divine darkness and beholding the radiant divine darkness, as does for example, St. Gregory of Nyssa. He talks about his brother St. Basil the Great by saying: "we knew that many times he was within the divine darkness where God is". The Fathers do not mean the entrance into the Divine Essence, but the superiority of the uncreated Light to the "light of natural knowledge;" because, according to Orthodox teaching, men participate in the uncreated energies of God and not in His Essence. St. Paul writes: "...the king of kings and Lord of Lords, who alone has immortality and dwells in unapproachable light, whom no man has ever seen or can see" (1 Tim. 6. 15–16). And, in order to summarise, I say to you, my father, that the radiant divine darkness is for man, according to the Fathers, the unapproachable Light of Divine Essence. Even when they talk about the value of beholding the radiant divine darkness, they do not wish to show the superiority of divine darkness to the vision of the uncreated Light, but they want to show its value in comparison to the value of the light of natural knowledge –knowledge of the intellect.

–Gerondas, I would like to ask another question. When man beholds the Light, does he then continue praying?

–No, he does not. We can call it prayer in divine vision. He beholds Christ and rejoices in His divine presence. Then prayer proceeds without words. St. Isaac the Syrian says that, if prayer is the seed, then ecstasy is the reaping of prayer. And as the reapers are surprised when they see that a small seed yields such a big harvest, in the same way are the God–seeing ascetics astonished at seeing "the reaping" of the "Jesus prayer". This ecstasy is the offspring of prayer during which, according to St. Isaac "the nous is not praying in the usual way but falls in ecstasy through things incomprehensible; and this is the ignorance which is superior to knowledge". This is "the silence of hidden mystery" and the "muteness of the spirit". The Fathers call this state "prayer", because it is the greatest gift awarded during prayer and is bestowed upon the Saints, but man does not know its real name. For at that time he ceases praying. He is elevated above words and concepts. That is why many of the Fathers call this state "the divine Sabbath" or Sabbath of the nous. As the Hebrews were given the commandment to rest on the Sabbath, likewise the spiritual state is the Sabbath of the soul, which rests from all works and is calm. Sabbaths of Sabbaths signify the spiritual calm of the deiform soul which has even withdrawn the intellect from the contemplations of all divine principles in created beings, that through an ecstasy of love, has clothed it entirely in God alone, and that through mystical theology, has brought it to rest perfectly in God"11. The only thing that man does at that moment is to weep. He pours abundant tears, not because of the awareness of sin, as before, but because of the vision of the uncreated energy of God. They are tears of delight, gladness, joyous tears. They are "painless tears", "gratifying tears", "which refresh and nourish the heart". Yes, they are tears which fill the eyes making rivers and furrows on the face. He is then, in rapture. "Whether in the body or out of the body, he does not know" (2 Cor. 12. 2). Soul and body are flooded with a joy impossible for human language to describe. St. Gregory Palamas, offering a passage from St. Dionysios Areopagite says, that when the lover of communion with God frees the soul from every attachment and unites the nous with unceasing prayer, he rises by mystical ascension to heaven and surveys all created things from above, through stillness and silence. "He unites his nous with unceasing prayer to God. Through this, he is rapt within himself, and finds a new and mysterious way to rise to the heavens: what one could call the impenetrable darkness of the original silence. With joy indescribable, he remains mysteriously enraptured, in spirit, in veritable rest and in silence, full of sweetness; and he flies over all created things". At this point, all worldly things become dust and ashes. They become refuse. Not only does he not feel the disturbance of passions but also he even forgets about his life, since the love for God is sweeter than life, and the knowledge of God sweeter than any other knowledge. "O joyful and sacred vision". "O divine eternity"! O divine "sweet peace"! "O divine love"!

–Gerondas, could you stop for a while, please? I feel very dizzy and tired. I cannot follow you in your ascent. I cannot bear it...

He came near, took my hand, and said in an affectionate voice:

– I understand you. But you wanted me to proceed and talk. And thus I spoke! I understand your distress. We, too, after the vision of Light, feel exceedingly tired, literally crushed. When divine grace comes, it is as if it holds a whip and whips our mortal flesh. I confess that many times after the Divine Liturgy, I feel exhausted and need to rest, only then does my human strength recover; it is similar to when one steps off of the grass, it returns little by little from the earth to its former position. If we would behold divine grace completely, we should have died. The love of God cares for everything.

We brought our conversation to a halt. Absolute silence reigned everywhere. Intermittently you could hear a monk hoeing in the garden reciting at the same time the Jesus prayer. I was breathing deeply. My heart was pounding as if it would break... A fever came over me. I had approached the holy of holies of mystical theology –I had approached "the intangible for the uninitiated". Down on the sea the reflection of the sun had sunk into the water and the part of the sea that I could see was golden like. A school of dolphins (a usual phenomenon on Mt. Athos), as far as I could distinguish from where I was, was playing in the sea. They would emerge and then again take a plunge into the golden water. Monks, I thought, these fervent lovers of heaven, are like dolphins. They live immersed in the water of grace and emerge only for a while to show us that they exist and again recede into the "vision" of God. St. Symeon dwelling within the uncreated Taborian Light, blesses the "lovers" of God:

I was beside such a burning mountain. I was close to a monk who was living, already in this life, the heavenly reality. There was calm outside in nature, and calm came into my soul. God, Paradise are beyond time but also within time, quite near to us. Beside us, within us, dividing time and history.

–Let us stop our discussion, father... said. Let us go outside for a while.

–No, no I said. I want to hear more. You said that the Jesus prayer is a science, a complete university. I want you to make me a scientist tonight.

– You are asking too much. Nobody can become a scientist of the Jesus prayer unless he struggles personally, unless he himself starts this work. Whatever the others would say is simply an introduction, to give him a good spiritual appetite. However, in order to complete my thoughts about the Jesus prayer, I must, perhaps, say a few things about the dangers and the errors that may arise along the way.

–Indeed, I said. You said something before, that the monks avoid the direct descent of the nous into the heart by the use of various means, in order to avoid dangers. What are these dangers and errors?

– The error starts with the thought that we must acquire grace in a short period of time. There are many people who are practising the sacred work of the Jesus prayer and want to enter into the vision of Light in a short while. And they lose heart and get disappointed because this cannot happen immediately and to all. The athlete must accept that he must struggle many years. God does not force our will, because we are persons and have free will nor should we force God's freedom, because He is a Person, too. We should let Him come, whenever He thinks, whenever He wants.

He stopped for a while.

–Another error is to give great significance to psychotechnic methods. These methods (breathing in and out, beating of the heart) are simply helpful means so that we can concentrate our nous and free it from elements alien to its nature. These methods do not have a magical power, but they are useful to us in avoiding the distraction of the nous. When the nous is focused and maintained within itself easily, then all auxiliary means are unnecessary.

–Are there other errors as well?

–There are, indeed. When we move quickly during the course of prayer. We mentioned a little while ago that there are various stages of development in the practice of the Jesus prayer and we summed them up into five. The first stage is to recite the Jesus prayer with the lips. The second is to keep the remembrance of Jesus in the mind and it will descend by itself into the heart. Some people, however, skipping the first stage, start from the second and do not succeed in accomplishing very much. Others go straight from the first stage to the third and develop it mainly by breathing. This is dangerous, because, as I said before, the physical heart may suffer and this can cause the Jesus prayer to cease. There is no illness of course, but, nevertheless, it is possible that this sacred work may stop.

On the subject of tears, he went on, there are also certain problems.

– What do you mean?

– We said earlier that when the Jesus prayer stays in the nous the eyes shed abundant tears. However, this is not always indispensible. Prayer can go well even if there are no tears. So, we should not get disappointed in the absence of tears, because they will come when God allows it. And even if we are flooded by them, we should not pay attention to them, neither should we describe these states to others. The ascetic experience says that when we talk about these states, then they cease immediately, and it takes a long time for them to return. Needless to say, although we know the stages of noetic prayer, we should avoid thinking about which stage we are in. We must proceed in humility. Besides, I think I told you a short while ago, feeling pride in and during prayer is stupidity. It really is stupidity. Man is like a beggar who asks for a piece of bread and then he feels proud because he has obtained it. And this is stupidity and a sin !

– I can see that humility plays an important part here.

–Yes, it does –in all stages. St. Basil the Great says that humility is the treasury of all virtues. It conceals all virtues and finally it conceals itself. In general, we must diligently avoid pride in the spiritual life, especially when it comes as vainglory. And you know, of course, that vainglory appears in every virtue; when we talk, when we keep silent, when we fast, when we keep vigil and even when we say the Jesus prayer, in hesychia and in forbearance. The Fathers say that vainglory is like a traitor who secretly opens the gates of the city so that the enemy can enter. In such a case, no matter how strong the city is and how good its defences are, it is captured by the enemy. The same also happens in the spiritual life. No matter how many virtues we have and no matter how much strength we hold on to, vainglory hands us over to the devil. And the Fathers recommend that one must never undertake a work which will possibly lead him to vainglory.

–I did not understand this. Can you explain it further?

–Let me come to the subject of prayer. The faithful must not overdo it, as far as prayer is concerned, because it is certain, then, that he is being allured by the devil. In such a case, whatever, he might do –even things beyond his strength– is achieved by the power of the devil. So, dragged by the devil, he is later abandoned by him at some time, then pushed backwards, and impelled to fall very low. He is actually destroyed.

–And how can one avoid this most heavy fall?

–The saving path is mourning and obedience. Prayer is very closely connected with mourning. When the devil sees somebody living in mourning, he does not remain there but flees, because he is afraid of the humility which is engendered by mourning. St. Gregory of Sinai tells us that the best defence for the athlete of prayer is to be in a state of mourning, so that the joy which comes in prayer may not lead him into pride, for the bright sadness keeps his soul unharmed. Mourning and the awareness of our sinfulness are indispensable in the course of pure prayer. The athlete “should keep his nous in hell and despair not”. Moreover, the awareness of our sinfulness, of our nothingness, and the hope in the Merciful Jesus are characteristic of Orthodoxy and of all of our hymns. It should be stressed, though, that not all can live in deep mourning because great strength and an earlier taste of divine grace are needed so that they are not shaken. However, as far as it is possible, we should all live this blessed mourning. Indiscriminate obedience to a Gerondas is also necessary. Everything, even the smallest things, should be done with his blessing and his wise guidance; even in the case of the uncreated Light.

– What does obedience to a Gerondas have to do with the vision of the uncreated Light? I asked astonished at what I had heard.

–When man walks alone, without the indispensable blessing, then he is pursued by the devil, as we said before. He experiences within himself the dissatisfied desire to see the uncreated Light. He believes that this is perfection and he wants to reach there quickly.

– Is this not right? I interrupted him.

–No, it is not. St. Diadochos recommends that the ascetic should not practise his ascetic life with the hope of seeing the uncreated Light, “so that the devil will not find his soul ready on that account to be carried off”. One should start the work of the Jesus prayer with love towards God and obedience to His holy Will. For, it is possible for the devil –who can disguise himself as an “angel of light” (2 Cor. 11 . 14)– to take the form of an angel who will serve him. And, then, the poor man thinks that he has reached the height of perfection, since he lives with angels, without being aware that he is conversing with devils. It is also a temptation when the ascetic while praying accepts thoughts from the demons that he will soon see the uncreated Light. Much care is needed in this delicate and dangerous situation. He must stop praying and reprimand himself severely: “How dare you, so wretched and vile, desire to see the uncreated Light”. The greatest danger is to think oneself worthy of seeing the uncreated Light! He can even say: “Alas! the demons, my murderers are coming to destroy my soul!” Then, immediately, the enemy disappears. Many times the devil, in order to satisfy the ambition of the monk and captivate him even more, brings even light into his cell. It is not the uncreated Light, but the created one, that of the devil.

–And how can it be distinguished?

–There are many ways which help the monk to distinguish the two lights. The criteria are as follows: Firstly, if he has reached the vision of the uncreated Light through obedience. The path of perfect and indiscriminate obedience is the guarantee that the vision of Light is genuine. The ascetic must confide all matters concerning “vision” to a discerning, holy and dispassioned Gerondas and ask him about them. The thought that he should not ask his guide is from the devil who aims at keeping him in darkness, error and slavery. Secondly, the Lord said about the false prophets: “you will know them by their fruits” (Matt. 7. 16). The same holds true in this case, too. A clear distinction between the uncreated and created light is made by their fruits. The uncreated Light brings into the soul, calm, peace, humility and awareness of our wretchedness. When Abraham talked to God, he called himself dust and ashes: “Behold, I have taken upon myself to speak to the Lord, I, who am but dust and ashes” (Gen. 18. 27). The same happened with Job: “I had heard of thee by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees thee; therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42. 5). And Prophet Isaiah, when he saw the glory of God, exclaimed: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!” (Is. 6. 5). On the contrary, the vision of the light of the devil engenders pride, vainglory, the thought that we have acquired perfection. St. Gregory of Sinai says: “Know, then, that the energies of grace are obvious and the demon, even if he disguises himself, cannot administer them; he cannot give meekness, nor forbearance, nor humility nor hatred for the world, neither can he extinguish pleasures and passions –this is the work of grace; his activity is pride, haughtiness, cowardice, and every kind of evil”. Apart from pride, the vision of the light of the devil creates disturbance. The energy of the Holy Spirit bestows peace, boldness and calmness to both body and soul, whereas the activity of the devil gives vent to fear and disturbance. St. Isaac says that every disturbance is a plague of the devil, because one transmits to others what he has in his nature. The Holy Spirit is by nature a spirit of peace and it transmits peace, whereas the devil is by nature a spirit of disturbance and fear and transmits disturbance and fear. Thirdly, the soul does not accept the light of the devil immediately, but it is reluctant at the beginning. The vision of the uncreated Light conveys certainty and acceptance at once. The uncreated Light comes unexpectedly and you do not doubt whether it is genuine or not. Fourthly, even in colour there is also a difference between the two lights. The disciples witnessed on Mount Tabor, during the Transfiguration of Christ, that “his face shone like the sun, and his garments became white as light” (Matt. 17. 2). On the contrary, the colour of the devil's light is reddish, according to the testimony of many Saints, who realised the difference. Fifthly, there is also a difference in shape between the two lights. Those who behold the uncreated Light “see no shape or form or image, but light without any form” (Symeon the New Theologian). And if it should take any form, it would look like the disc of the sun. God appears like the “sun or like the disc of the sun, presenting Himself in the shape of a sphere, radiant, like a flame”, without any shape and form. The reverse happens with the vision of the created light of the devil. St. Gregory Palamas gives the following example. He writes that once Akindinos went to Mt. Athos. He stayed there for a few days and told St. Gregory that while he was trying to pray, he saw a light which was split, and a human face could be seen within it. The Saint asserted that the light was from the devil, because it had a shape. “And I declared to him that it was a terrible deceit and mockery and game of the devil, or rather a cunning trap”.

The Fathers suggest, the experienced ascetic went on, that we should not immediately accept every incident that occurs during our prayer. “Consider something as good after great testing”. We must ask the Gerondas about all of these matters and only after an intense and long struggle, according to the grace we acquire, are we able to distinguish error from truth. Vinegar and wine are the same in appearance, but they differ in taste. Similarly as years pass, the athlete of prayer acquires the ability to discern the difference. The Gerondas was speaking unremittingly. His head was bent toward the ground. I was listening to him, literally charmed. I did not want to interrupt his Orthodox thoughts, which expressed the teachings of the Fathers. Peace and calmness filled my heart while he was speaking, and that was a sign that his teaching was true and sound.

– All of these factors I have just mentioned to you are clearly shown in a conversation that St. Symeon the New Theologian cites. You can see there that God appears as Light which brings sweetness. The disciple asks the discerning spiritual father, who has already seen God, and is assured that what he saw was God.

He took the book and started reading:

The novice appeared then, whom I had begun to feel jealous of, because he had found such a wise and experienced guide and asked his Gerondas.

– You told me to water one of the trees. I have done it. Shall I water the other one, now?

– Yes, water it.

And, turning to me, he said:

–This is the obedience which I was speaking of before, and he who practises it and asks his instructor about everything, makes spiritual progress. He achieves many things through obedience. Firstly, he does not let his imagination work out solutions, as many monks do. In this way, he purifies his mind, not only of the complex but also of the simple thoughts; and thus he concentrates more on the Jesus prayer. Secondly, he gets used to asking. Asking one's own spiritual father is salvation. Where obedience exists, there, too, exists humility, which is the foundation of obedience. So the spirit of pride, the devil, can not penetrate and create stressful situations. In general, obedience is absolutely necessary in the course of this holy work. We must not proceed without a guide. The Gerondas shows us the way, regulates the program of our spiritual life, orders us to stop a task and tells us whether we are proceeding well and in the sight of God. The person of Gerondas stands for God Himself. He is “in the place of Christ”. The Gerondas is for the monks whom he has under his care, what the bishop is for his diocese and the abbot for his holy monastery.

–Does asceticism give such a great importance to the existence of the Gerondas?

–Yes, indeed, it does. No one can go on without a Gerondas nor can he live within pure Orthodox tradition. As physical life is imparted from generation to generation in the same way too is spiritual life imparted. The Gerondas, being the possessor and bearer of this tradition, imparts it to his spiritual child and gives birth to him in Christ. The Gerondas imparts the tradition to him who wants to obtain it. The meaning of obedience concerning salvation rests on this point. I am obedient, not so that I will disappear, but in order to mortify my bad self and get rid of my own will and accept tradition; in order that Christ be formed within me. I am obedient so that I may be born. Obedience is also necessary because the danger of error lurks. That is why Abba Dorotheos writes: “No one is more wretched, no one is more vulnerable than he who walks the path of God without anyone to guide him”. The same Father, interpreting the passage from the Proverbs: “where there is no guidance, a people falls like leaves” (Prov. 11 . 14), says that the leaf is in the beginning green and fresh but then it fades and falls. It is despised and stepped upon. The same happens to the man who does not have a spiritual father. He soon withers and succumbs to his enemy. “In the beginning he is full of fervour concerning fasting, vigil, practising hesychia, obedience, and other virtues; then his fervour fades away and, because he does not have a spiritual father who sustains, increases and excites this fervour, he withers away and falls and is subject to his enemies, who do whatever they want to him”.

I will give you an example so that you understand why the existence of a Gerondas is necessary for us to avoid mistakes. I met a monk who, while praying, felt a strong pain in his heart. He told it immediately to his Gerondas. The Gerondas was worried and, being himself experienced, asked him where in his heart he felt the pain. When the monk answered that his heart hurt on the outer lower part, he ordered: “You must stop saying the Jesus prayer immediately; you will not say it for a week, for you should have felt pain on the upper in side part of the heart. Since the passions act on the lower part, the devil is surely preparing something against you”. Thus, the monk was delivered from the deceit of the devil which had already begun to take action. The Fathers teach from their experience: “If you see a young man ascending to heaven by his own will snatch him by the leg and pull him down because it won't be beneficial to him”.

I considered that disciple blessed because he was humble and his spiritual father was holy. And I remembered a poem by Theodore the Studite:

To the Disciple.

– Blessed are the monks, athletes of the spiritual life. Blessed are the birds which sing and enjoy the dewy spring time of God. We cannot live these ecstasies. We breath the fumes of our impurities. We eat the dust of the earth, from which we are made.

–Yet, you too can enjoy the beams of divine glory, shedding of divine light. If you want to become true theologians you must pray because only then the Most Holy Spirit is pre sent and acts. “If you are a theologian you pray truly and if you pray truly you are a theologian”. I will tell you something to help you to understand this. It is possible after committing a sin (primarily a carnal one) that a person can write theological treatises and be engaged in the analysis of the works of the Fathers, but, since he has lost grace by committing the sin, he cannot pray. Prayer ceases but work does not. Thus, a true theologian is he who lives in prayer. Therefore, you too can receive, the joyful heart–beat of divine illumination.

–But how? I would like your invaluable help on this subject. It will be very practical as well as indispensable.

You must realise the necessity of purification from passions. You should not only want to make others well but you should believe that you, too, like all of us, are full of passions. Each passion is a hell. You should also know that, according to what we have said, the Jesus prayer is a remedy which cures the soul and purifies it. That does not mean that the Jesus prayer is a panacea but rather it is the means by which man is united with God, who is the only one Who purifies and illumines the soul. He is the physician of our soul and body He is “the true light that enlightens every man who comes into the world” (John. 1 . 9). As eye salve cleanses the vision and enables already existing objects to be seen, similarly, each person must will to be purified and transformed and seek, through prayer, illumination which comes from God.

–Do you believe that we, who work in the world, can do what the monks do concerning this divine work of prayer?

–Even if you cannot do exactly what they do, still you can achieve many things. It must be made clear, however, that noetic prayer is one thing and praying the Jesus prayer another. Noetic prayer, as some hesychasts practise it, re quires a life without distraction. It requires quietness and many other things, as we have already described. If you cannot practise noetic prayer in the world –and this is very difficult– you must pray with the Jesus prayer at set times or say it whenever you can. It will do you great good.

–Can you suggest to me some useful and practical ways?

–Apart from church services, you should also designate a certain hour for the practice of the Jesus prayer, for meditation on the name of Jesus. You should start the practice of the Jesus prayer gradually and proceed according to your thirst and the grace you feel. One can start by saying the prayer for half an hour in the morning before sunrise, and half an hour in the evening, after the compline, before sleep. It is necessary for there to be a fixed hour for prayer which should not be changed for any reason, not even for good works. It is possible, for example, that somebody may come for confession at that particular time. If he is not ill or if it is not very urgent you should not postpone the time you have set aside for the Jesus prayer. The same should happen concerning good works. A peaceful and quiet room where no noises are heard is also necessary for one to start the work of the Jesus prayer, in the way we mentioned before. That is, in the beginning we should warm our heart or read a book of the Fathers, which creates in us a feeling of compunction, and then we should say the Jesus prayer either with the lips, the mind or the heart, according to our spiritual progress. Little by little the time devoted to the Jesus prayer will increase and it will sweeten our hearts, and we shall long for it. But, I repeat, in the beginning we need to force ourselves to say the prayer even for a short time. It will do us great good.

– Is it enough, this short period of time?

– It is not enough but when there is a good disposition and humility, God fills up what is lacking in prayer. Since God is so sympathetic to our downfalls, won't He be extremely merciful to us in the struggle for our transformation? He fills up whatever is lacking. He takes into account even the special circumstances of each one of us. It may be that one hour of your prayer will be more blessed than the many hours of a monk, because you are also busy with other works.

I admired the discretion of this Athonite monk, of this incarnate angel. He distinguishes all problems with admirable ability and puts everything in its proper perspective.

–You should know, however, he went on, that the devil will expose you to many temptations during prayer, as I said previously. Many incidents will come up to make you stop praying. But you should also know that God is testing you through these trials to determine if you really want to practise the Jesus prayer. In such a case, if you persevere, God will come to your aid and drive away all difficulties.

–But, Gerondas, if, while praying, thoughts come to my mind of preparing a speech or a sermon; of doing something for the love of my brother, must I abandon them?

–Yes, you must abandon them. For, even when good thoughts come during prayer (I refer to the set times of prayer), the devil exploits them to obstruct us from prayer. If the devil realises that we are ready to give up the Jesus prayer for such things, he will send us many thoughts of the same kind even at the restored set time. But in this case, neither do we pray, nor are we purified nor have our brethren really benefited. For the preparation of a sermon, which has replaced prayer, is without fruit. It won't benefit the brethren.

– It happens sometimes that we return to our cell exhausted, after having spent a lot of our strength, and then we cannot pray our usual rule. What should we do in these cases?

–We should not give up the Jesus prayer even then. St. Symeon recommends that serving our brothers should never be the cause for us to be deprived of the Jesus prayer, because we then lose many things. We should never find excuses to avoid prayer. “Labour in service according to your strength; and in your cell, persevere in prayer with contrition, vigilance and continuous tears; and do not have it in your mind; I have laboured exceedingly today, let me diminish the time of prayer because of physical tiredness. For, I tell you that no matter how much you work beyond your strength in serving others, if you deprive yourself of prayer, be sure that you have lost something very great”. Half an hour of the Jesus prayer is worth as much as three hours of deep sleep. The prolonged Jesus prayer rests and calms us. So, even from this point of view, it is an invigorating physiological remedy. My dear father, wrap up all your works in the golden mantle of the Jesus prayer. It is because they work much with their brain and not with their heart, that many of the brethren have tribulations and are in anguish in their spiritual endeavour. They become tired by thinking what to say, whereas when they live in grace, then the thoughts come, they literally spring forth like a rushing river. It is because they do not have a good link with the Jesus prayer that the brethren quarrel among themselves, do not have peace, are afflicted by unjust attacks and do not rejoice over them, according to the commandment of Christ. St. Nicodemos the Hagiorite, being guided by a long tradition of several centuries, suggests that the Bishop should be elected from the rank of the monks. Having monastic consciousness, he will not be troubled by persecutions, slander, accusations or the anger of men, since he himself is the first to recognise his own sinfulness and to accuse himself. Thus he acquires all the fruits we mentioned before –mainly love, which flows from much grace, and freedom from falling into sin, as the Fathers say.

–What do you mean, father, by monastic consciousness?

–I mean obedience, humility, self-condemnation and an insatiable thirst for the Jesus prayer –obedience to the Gerondas and the spiritual father. The monk should be humble toward all people and his humility should be connected with the struggle for purification from passions. We should not undertake many works, because, unfortunately, we are influenced in this matter by other heresies. The greatest work is to acquire humility and holiness. Then we are truly rich. The Church is not a ministry of social services, but it is the treasury of divine grace. Priests are not social workers but those who guide the people of God. And this cannot be done unless they have humility and holiness. Without holiness and humility the greatest social work is soon obliterated, whereas when we have humility and holiness of life, even the smallest social work acquires extraordinary dimensions. Humility should be connected with self condemnation, too, that is with self–accusation. We should be the first to accuse ourselves. We should attach the respect that the others show us to our priesthood and not to ourselves. We should attribute the accusations of others to our own sinful state and not to our priesthood. We will experience then peace and much grace from God, and will drive out every cause which makes us hate our brother. There must also be insatiable thirst for the Jesus prayer. We should not consider the Jesus prayer an opportunity, but we should consider it as life itself. We should move within prayer. Our theology and our preaching should be born within its holy atmosphere. We should also have our rule and do it every day. When we live in this way the world is then benefited beyond measure. Whoever one may be, either priest or bishop, he should always have one concern: not to lose his monastic consciousness. It is written in the “Sayings of the Desert Fathers": “It was related of Abba Netras, the disciple of Abba Sylvanus, that when he dwelt in his cell on Mount Sinai, he treated himself prudently, with regard to the needs of his body, but when he became bishop at Pharan, he curbed himself with great austerities. His disciple said to him, “Abba, when we were in the desert, you did not practise such asceticism. “The old man said to him, “There in the desert I had interior peace and poverty and I wished to manage my body so as not to be ill and not to need what I did not have. But now I am in the world and among its cares, and even if I am ill here, there will be someone to look after me and so I do this in order not to destroy the monk in me"12. Those who have the consciousness of a monk feel the need to receive a blessing for whatever work they do. They entrust it to the Bishop and to an experienced spiritual father to check it and correct it during its course and at its end. They do not want praises for what they do, because he who is honoured or praised more than he deserves loses much. Wherever you are, in the street, in the car you should say the Jesus prayer; “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me” and “Most Holy Mother of God save me”. We should often attend the Divine Liturgy with the proper preparation and participate in the undefiled Mysteries. All creation praises and glorifies God. A priest who does not offer the Divine Liturgy is in discord in this wonderful praise. It would be good to chant from time to time the Canon to our Lord Jesus Christ which is found in the Book of Hours. You should also chant the special prayers addressed to our Lord Jesus Christ and found at the end of the book: “The Unseen Warfare”, composed by St. Nicodemos the Hagiorite. He urges us to evoke often, the most sweet, joy -producing and the cause of all good, saving name of our Lord Jesus Christ, not only with our lips, but also with our heart and mind.

You should also pray for others, too, because God has en trusted his own people to you. Therefore it is your duty to withdraw and pray for peace and illumination of his people. As great Moses did...

o  ·   1     2  ·   3  ·   4     5     6  ·   7  ·   8  ·   9  ·   o   A NIGHT IN THE DESERT OF THE HOLY MOUNTAIN © HydroGraphiX. "PELAGIA".